SEPTEMBER | NOVEMBER
C T O B E R 2 0 0 7
Falkirk Town Hall,
autumn in the air, this is about the best time to be
travelling north of the border for a bit of a
mini-tour. As we pulled up outside this very
familiar venue for us, the doors of the van were still
open, which indicated that we had not been far behind
the crew of Dave and Paul. There seemed to be a
bit of confusion over the on-stage time. I was
under the impression that it was 7.30, but the Town
Hall website gave the show time as 8.00pm. The
tickets said 7.30, so we split the difference and
decided to go with 7.45. This would, however,
depend on sorting out a problem with the PA which
eventually turned out to be a problem with the venue
electrics. 8 o'clock it was!
I don't think Eddie and I particularly enjoyed the
first half of the performance, perhaps for different
reasons, but the second half was much better and the
audience seemed to warm up a bit too.
After the concert, we opted for a 45 minute drive up
to the Perth Travelodge, rather than stay in
McDonalds Chicken McDeli Sandwich, is the healthiest
option available to us at breakfast time (noon).
We all ordered one, but they are really shit and taste
of absolutely nothing, so we won't be doing that
again. Disgruntled, we set off up the A9 for one
of the most pleasant "A" road drives in
Britain. Stopping off at Aviemore for coffee and
scones, Eddie was becoming more and more excited at
the prospect of seeing rare birds of prey, now that we
were so far north of the border. I've never
heard the word "Kestrel" used more often.
We should have been playing at The Eden Court Theatre,
where we did extremely well a few years ago, but due
to refurbishment of that venue, we ended up finding an
alternative place to play.
The Ironworks, turns out to be a similar type of venue
to the Robin in Bilston, a proper live music venue
with a state of the art in house PA system.
Had there been more people at the gig, I'm sure it
would have been a real stormer. We played really
well and the audience was as enthusiastic as such a
small gathering could be. I hope we can come
back here and play to more people.
After settling into our Wetherspoons base for the
night, Dirk, Eddie and I set off in search of the good
Guinness and found it about 50 yards away complete
with live music. Eddie found a bit more of it
after everyone else was tucked up in bed, but who's
manage to provide the most massive breakfast for a
piddling £3.60, which makes you realise how much you
get ripped off at other establishments. We all
had the same, except Roy, who opted for the slightly
smaller £2.10 version. Paul was so impressed,
that there was no evidence that anything had been on
his plate at all by the end of his meal. We
think he may have been trying to keep his strength up
to fight off the advances of a potential invasion on
his aris' from a fictional character Roy had been
promising would be sniffing around later in the day.
We took the more scenic route back down south, through
the Cairngorns and Balmoral, to a coffee stop at
Braemar. The town was lovely, which is more than
can be said for the drinks, but we all enjoyed the
walk around the village in the crispy autumn weather.
We've not played at the Whitehall since 1995, and from
the outside, neither Dirk nor I could remember a thing
about it. As we went inside and our eyes
adjusted to the light, it did begin to look slightly
The concert turned out to be the best of the three on
this little trip. From the first song, it was
well evident that this crowd were up for it.
Although we couldn't see any of the audience due to
the strong lights, we could certainly hear them, and
they were having a ball.
Thanks to everyone who has signed the guestbook
following these three shows....glad you enjoyed
it a bit late to be writing about this concert, but
the overwhelming memory I have of it a couple of weeks
later is that we all felt it was one of our best ever
We've played bigger and grander venues but something
about this was just right. Terrific audience,
and well...we just played bloody great. Thoroughly
satisfying for the whole band, we could've played all
grand, especially from the outside, but ask anyone who
has been to Beatle Week and they will tell you that
Britannia Adelphi Hotel is very nearly an anagram
of "Total Shithole"
Corporate engagement, at which we all felt that we
were very poorly received.
Others not in our party begged to differ, but we are
hard to convince.
Dirk had a perfume incident and became snotty.
Roy looked at his shoes in the dressing room.
Eddie and I were prematurely "Trick or
Treated" by a poorly costumed 7 year old.
Of course, the little girl was not looking for
sweets....it's hard cash she was after. I begged
Eddie not to succumb, but I'm afraid he did and I
watched as the girl handed over the loose change to
the scum of a woman who made straight off to "The
Vines". Tell yer what though, inflation has
not got a grip on Bonfire Night yet, the kids in
Liverpool are still only asking for a penny for the
guy......sensational value in these times!
Stan Boardman told some jokes in between our two sets,
but our time on stage was not as much fun.
What's a Shih Tzu?........ It's one with no
Not a career highpoint for any of us.
St.Andrews Bay Hotel,
Lakes...where did all these people come from?
60th Birthday Party.
England lose in Rugby World Cup Final.
Stopped at Forth Bridge on way back to suck in the
minutes after arriving to meet the rest of us at Lymm
Services, and before his reasonable coffee had had
chance to go cold, Dirk found himself the victim of a
wheelclamp. As he drove into the services, a
number plate recognition camera clocks him and checks
a computer to find that he has parked here before
without paying £15 so to do. They have
allegedly sent him an £80 bill through the post, and
now want £120 to release the clamp. However,
they have sent the bill to an old address and so have
to release the clamp without him paying the release
fee. This is all a bit scary. Aren't motorway
services supposed to be on tax-payers land? Why
should some twatting huge company, making enormous
profits from ripping off their captive audience, be
allowed to charge us for parking a car on land we
technically own? Car sharing should be
encouraged not penalised, but everything nowadays
seems to be based on greed. Oh fuck it!... we
say the same things all the time, we hate the way
things are going, but nothing will change while this
nation remains so apathetic.
Took us far too long to get to Gainsborough, but we
did, and probably too early. (I know exactly what I
mean by that sentence, but I expect no one else will!)
This is a cracking little venue, the like of which was
probably quite common some years back, but now appear
to be a bit of a rarity. We were spoiled rotten
with a poussin and fresh veg., which all 6 seemed to
enjoy immensely judging by the pile of sucked dry
bones which was all that remained at the end.
The best on stage sound we could ever recall, made the
gig a delight to play. I hope we get chance to
perform here again.
Four Seasons Hotel,
like such a long time since we have set off for a gig
in the dark. Back in the old days, during the
winter, we would hardly see daylight at all by the
time we had slept off a return journey from a late
gig. Roy will still wax lyrical about such
A huge amount of packaging gets thrown away at our
Keele Kentucky stop, prompting conversation about the
state of our landfills, general re-cycling and
government plans to tax more than one bag of rubbish a
week. The topic goes back to music in the car,
while listening to a Tom Robinson programme on Radio 4
about changes in popular music since the 20's.
It seems mad to think that there was a mere 20 years
between Elvis and the Sex Pistols.
We arrive in Park Lane..."well early" to the
usual vain attempt to find parking close to Hamilton
Place, it has to end up being the underground car park
in Mayfair, which at 8 quid to stay all night is an
absolute bargain in the capital.
We have quite a time to hang around in the Four Seasons
before we are due on. I just love it when a maître
d''. will come over and ask if they can help us.
"No thank you" will always prompt further
questions, but what they really want to ask is;
"What the bleedin' hell are you doing here... you
I consider ordering a drink from the bar.....let's
have a look at the tariff. They have a fine selection
of cognacs, ranging in price from £8.50 to £500.. per
glass!! I hate to be a philistine, but
seriously.....What is that all about?
We are supposed to perform 11 songs at this Batmitzvah
at 11 o'clock. Naturally, things will be running
a bit behind schedule, but we manage to squeeze on
stage at 11.30, which is pretty good going for these
affairs. The room is one we have played before,
but I think this is the best it has looked. The
events company doing the room dressing have done a
great job. Playing a shorter set at these
functions works so much better than gilding the lily
with seventy minutes to an audience who have so much
else to do at a party. Our performance is beamed
round the room on huge plasma screens and dance floor
is constantly full of people either dancing or
watching. There was a great atmosphere at this
party and I'd say it was one of the more enjoyable
parties like this we have played.
We are somewhere on the M6 when the clock jumps back
an hour to signal the official end of BST.
SEPTEMBER | NOVEMBER
© Fab Productions 2007